Lydia is a metrosexual pansy. He’s from a world where his proud and noble race has been suppressed by the conifer class, leaving him with a slight chip on his twig. He ran away from the small minds and bad topiary of his village and accidentally stumbled through a TACACA controlled dimensional gateway.  Mr Squeaky was forced to take him on as a sidekick because Lydia refused to go back and keep his mouth shut. His lack of physical force is more than made up in his verbal sword play and rapier wit.

Life with Lydia isn’t a bed of roses. He would rather give an insult than admit emotion, even if his life depended on it. Selfish to his phloem tubes, the only time he thinks of anyone else is when the ramifications threaten to impact him in any way. His wants and loyalties change from minute to minute, so it’s only their boring policies and bureaucracy that keep him from siding with Thee Company.

Despite all this Mr Squeaky finds him endearing. There’s something in the heart of this little pansy, a smidgen of heroism, a whisper of the maverick and perhaps a whiff of the partner Mr Squeaky lost all those years ago.

 Jack irritates Lydia. His indecisiveness, his cowardliness and his allen key. They rub each other up the wrong way and often have conflicting approaches to the situations they end up in.

Played by Lee Arnott